Bismillah
A New Kind of Sports
(a must know for healthcare providers)
Tired of only taking care of others? Want to be healthy yourself? No time in your hand to head to the gym and develop Sado-like-physique? Well worry no more, as we introduce you to a practical way to work like a slave and still stay fit. If you're also disciplined in your food consumption, then toned or Sado-like-physique may be attainable. (Though in majority of cases, most subjects end up being super thin or regular sized with mildly enlarged abdominal girth. Ah well, better fit and fat than unfit and unfit they say)
An essential part of this regime is a J, or if you are not one, then, to be associated or have the same working hours as a J would be of major benefit. Random, like really random observations (which means, no research has been conducted upon to clarify this claim) denotes that the presence of a J excites forces in the field, leading to a somewhat magnetic pull of clients and going-ons which hypothetically causes shifts in spatial orientation of all animate and inanimate objects in the area of said magnetic pull of clients and going-ons.
Now this is the most important part. To benefit from this setting and be fit, repeat after me. "I must not be an ignorant lazy bum and join in the adrenaline rush of resuscitating that client and carry out all the plans to make sure my client is safe for transfer/discharge".
No fun eyh? Well, it is all in the mind, dear readers. Every one of us whom are first timers, would feel like giving up, like it isn't the kind of sport we were made for. Fret not, for that feeling is a norm, there are no sports in this world, that was meant to make you fit, that won't hurt you in its introductory phase. Motivate yourself to be actively involved and you and your surrounding will benefit!
Initially, the non stop referrals may physiologically affect you, and you may have considered, once, or more than once, to accidentally cause harm to a fellow colleague (which usually stems out of anger management or, rather our lack of it). But keep your head in the game! The sore will come, wear comfortable shoes, and attires that would allow you to cruise hallways, position yourself for CPR, and maneuver yourself to do the unexpected, in unexpected situations, at the unexpected time, with unexpected outcome.
And that dear readers, is the beauty of this sport. You will never get bored. Cause most of the time, the challenges provided differs. And if paired with a smart ass officers whom are skilled and not cocky to pass it on (their skills that is), then, you're in for a bigger adventure. (Like Spidey's with great power comes great responsibility bla bla bla)
Be aware however, this sports, in the event of many known J around, may turn extreme, and is not recommended for the fainthearted. If you're pregnant, we suggest you head over to clinics, whereby equipments aren't as fanciful as other places, limiting the variance of activity that could be performed.
Just to remind you however, for the regime to work, a J is essential.
Other risks associated with this sport includes eye bags, dehydration, lack of socializing and catching up with friends, and if practiced by without supervision, then loneliness and a drop in anger threshold may surface.
We encourage intermittent snacking, hydration, stretching and a good social support for readers eager to try this sport. For those who have no choice and was destined for this, we suggest you start doing the same. Jonahness should not be a reason to not meet your bodies' basic needs. Deprivation leads to emptiness and later sadness and depression. Embrace the responsibility placed upon you, and be amazed of the awesome that would follow.
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Disclaimer: of course, this unpaid advertisement is just for fun. Celebrating all Jonah people whom enjoy work and work hard, even if they feel like dying every other day. Jonah ftw!
Seasonally Jonah,
Your HO
